Discernment Counseling: Navigating Love, Decision-Making & Well-being
What is Discernment Counseling?
Discernment Counseling was developed for couples who are on the fence about staying in their marriage. In these cases, typically one person wants to stay married and work on salvaging the relationship, while the other partner feels like divorce or separation is the only option. At Dalliance Sexual Wellness Collective, this intensive, short-term process helps both partners gain clarity around the immensely painful and difficult decision around taking steps to preserve the relationship or taking steps toward ending the marriage. The goal of discernment counseling is for each partner to gain more understanding of what happened in the relationship that led to their current impasse and what each partner’s contribution was to their current situation.
THROUGH THIS PROCESS, THE COUPLE DETERMINES IF THE ISSUES AND CONTRIBUTIONS ARE SOLVABLE THROUGH COUPLES THERAPY OR IF THE PROBLEMS ARE UNSOLVABLE AND IT’S BETTER TO END THE RELATIONSHIP.
Discernment couseling is not couples therapy.
With traditional couples therapy, the approach assumes that both partners are willing to put in the work to improve the relationship. Discernment counseling does not solve the problems of the relationship, we are just working to understand if those problems are solvable. When one partner is leaning out of the relationship, couples therapy is typically ineffective because the leaning out partner is hopeless about the opportunity for change and improvement in the relationship. In addition, couples therapy is a longer, more involved investment of time while discernment counseling is limited to five sessions to evaluate the viability of the relationship.
How it works
The Process
Discernment counseling is a short-term, intensive therapy that lasts a minimum of one session and a maximum of five sessions. The structure allows for limited interactions between the couple, with the therapist spending individual time with each partner, helping them discern between three paths:
Path 1
Remain in the relationship with no intended change or couples therapy
Path 2
Trial separation or divorce
Path 3
Agreement to proceed with a minimum of six months of couples therapy with the option of divorce off the table. After the six months, the couple has the option to revisit the decision to remain together or divorce.
In individual break-out sessions, the partners start to explore their own contributions to the dissatisfaction in the relationship. Each partner will have the opportunity to summarize these personal discoveries and at the end of each session both partners will have the opportunity to share these realizations.
At the end of each session, the therapist gives each partner space to determine if they would like to continue discerning the three paths or if they’ve had enough time and information to reach a mutual decision moving forward.
The Decision
At the point that the couple has made a mutual decision about their shared path forward, the therapist will support the couple with their decision in the following ways:
If the couple determines to remain in the relationship as is, the therapist will help the couple handle how they move forward.
If the mutual decision is path two—divorce—the therapist will provide resources and referrals to the couple including collaborative divorce attorneys, mediators, individual therapists, etc.
Lastly, if the mutual decision is to pursue path three (a commitment to six months of couples therapy, with divorce taken off the table), the discerment counselor will consult with the couples’ therapist regarding the work the couple did in couples therapy - with written approval from the couple.
Trisha Andrews is one of only 5 Certified Discernment Counselors in the state of Colorado and one of only 11 in the state of Illinois.
Discernment Counseling: Unraveling Ambivalence & Fostering Decision-Making
Discernment Counseling: Unraveling Ambivalence & Fostering Decision-Making" focuses on aiding couples who find themselves at a crossroads, unsure of whether to pursue staying together or part ways. This form of counseling delves deep into the layers of ambivalence, helping partners articulate their feelings and desires, thereby enabling a clearer path toward making significant relationship decisions. Through guided conversations and reflective exercises, couples are supported in exploring their options with greater clarity and understanding, ultimately fostering informed decision-making that aligns with their individual and joint aspirations.
Counselor's Role in Unveiling Relationship Ambivalence
In discernment counseling, the counselor plays a pivotal role in addressing the often hidden layers of ambivalence within relationships. Through empathy and specialized techniques, they create a safe environment for each partner to express unresolved feelings and doubts. This process is crucial in helping couples understand their own and each other's perspectives, enabling a deeper exploration of their relationship's complexities and guiding them towards clarity on their future path together or separately.
Navigating Decisions: Love, Respect, and Understanding Therapy
Navigating Decisions: Love, Respect, and Understanding Therapy" emphasizes the therapeutic journey towards making informed decisions about a relationship’s future. It underscores the importance of fostering a deep sense of love, mutual respect, and understanding. This approach aids couples in considering all aspects of their relationship, guiding them to decisions that reflect their true desires and values. Through therapy, partners learn to navigate their emotions and thoughts effectively, ensuring that any decision made is done with care and profound consideration for each other’s well-being.
Counselor Insights: Bridging Communication Gaps in Relationships
Counselor Insights: Bridging Communication Gaps in Relationships" explores how counselors offer invaluable perspectives on improving communication between partners. They provide strategies and tools designed to bridge the gaps that often hinder effective dialogue in relationships. Through targeted exercises and guided discussions, counselors help couples develop skills to express their needs and listen actively, laying a foundation for stronger, more connected relationships. This guidance is pivotal for partners looking to overcome misunderstandings and foster a deeper understanding and respect for each other's viewpoints
Therapeutic Communication Techniques for Couples
Therapeutic Communication Techniques for Couples" focuses on enhancing the dialogue between partners through structured strategies that promote openness and honesty. By utilizing these techniques, couples are encouraged to break down barriers to communication, ensuring that both individuals feel heard and understood. The therapy aims to rebuild trust and intimacy by fostering a positive exchange of thoughts and feelings, empowering couples to address conflicts constructively and deepen their emotional connection.
Therapy for Deciding Together or Apart: Navigating Love & Regret"
Therapy for Deciding Together or Apart: Navigating Love & Regret" delves into the complex emotions that couples face when contemplating the future of their relationship. It's a process that thoughtfully considers the intricate dynamics of love intertwined with feelings of regret. This therapy supports partners in making heartfelt decisions, whether that's to forge a path towards reconciliation or to part ways with respect and understanding. The focus is on guiding couples through these emotional landscapes to arrive at a decision that honors both their shared history and individual needs.
Overcoming Infidelity: Trust-Rebuilding Counseling Insights"
Overcoming Infidelity: Trust-Rebuilding Counseling Insights" provides crucial perspectives on navigating the aftermath of infidelity, emphasizing the importance of rebuilding trust. Counseling offers a structured approach to address the breach of trust, facilitating open and honest conversations that allow both partners to express their feelings, fears, and desires for the future. This process is instrumental in understanding the root causes of infidelity and working towards healing, forgiveness, and, ultimately, a stronger, more resilient relationship foundation.
Marriage & Infidelity: Overcoming Obstacles with Discernment Counseling"
Marriage & Infidelity: Overcoming Obstacles with Discernment Counseling" focuses on navigating the challenging waters of infidelity within a marriage. It highlights discernment counseling's role in helping couples decide the best path forward. This form of counseling assists in deeply understanding the impact of infidelity, facilitating a process where both partners can express their feelings, evaluate their needs, and explore possibilities for healing or amicably parting, emphasizing a thoughtful approach to overcoming these significant relationship obstacles.
Family Dynamics Post-Discernment: Effective Co-parenting Counsel
Family Dynamics Post-Discernment: Effective Co-parenting Counsel" addresses the continuation of parental responsibilities after couples decide on their future together or apart. This content would emphasize strategies and advice for maintaining a healthy family environment, focusing on effective communication, boundary-setting, and mutual respect between co-parents. The goal is to support parents in creating a stable and supportive setting for their children, ensuring that the family dynamics remain positive and constructive, regardless of the parents' relationship status.
Future Planning After Discernment: Reimagining Commitment & Cooperation
Embark on a journey of clarity and resolution with our Future Planning After Discernment service. We guide you through reimagining your commitment and cooperation, whether you're moving forward together or parting ways. Our approach ensures that every step is taken with mutual respect and a clear vision for the future, fostering a positive transition for both partners. Let us help you lay the groundwork for a future built on understanding and collaborative success.
Post-Counseling Commitment Renewal and Growth Strategies
After your journey through discernment counseling, embrace the opportunity for renewal and growth with our Post-Counseling Commitment strategies. We're here to guide you through rekindling your relationship's spark, offering practical, forward-looking strategies designed to reinforce your bond and facilitate continuous growth. Together, let's build a stronger foundation for your future, enriched with commitment and shared goals. Discover the path to a revitalized partnership, supported by our dedicated team every step of the way.
Self-Discovery After Relationship Counseling: Embracing Solo Paths
Discover the power of self-growth and independence with our Self-Discovery After Relationship Counseling program. This journey is designed for individuals embracing their solo paths post-counseling, guiding you towards a deeper understanding of your desires, strengths, and potential. We support your journey towards self-love and fulfillment, providing tools and strategies to confidently navigate life’s next chapters. Embrace this transformative experience and unlock a future where your happiness and well-being are paramount.
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